Sigh.

So nothing. Nothing at all.

It's almost time for me to leave though. I can't wait. This should be very exciting. I've always wanted to go to Europe and now I get to. This will be fun...no matter what.

I've been wondering. Why do people want others to feel sorry for them? Plainly, why are people the way they are? I don't know. I get the whole wanting to feel "loved" or just being attention hungry. But why do you want that? Attention just plain out blows and being "loved" doesn't really work. I mean, seriously. I don't know. I just strongly dislike it when people try to make you feel bad for them.
I think that's why a lot of people don't get along with me. I'm not one to feel sorry. I do sometimes. But we all know how I am. And I'm always getting yelled at for not comforting the damn person. But it's not my job!! You should know you're life isn't going to end over something so "simple." Yeah I know that I complain. Especially about Evy and all that stuff. I know that I acted like the pain would never go away, but I didn't give up. And if I didn't get the sympathy I was longing for, I would just find something else to do; rather than complain.
It's hard to not mope around and feel sorry for yourself. But it's Way better than doing just that. If you do, you're not doing anything to help yourself.
And it bothers me how many people (mainly guys) complain about being single. Do you really need a chick that bad?? Why do people feel the need for companionship? It's retarded. I can see that we all get lonely and want to be loved. But um that's why you build your relationship with God or whomever you believe in. And if you don't believe in some type of creator...that's not my problem. Of course I should try to help with that issue (which also bothers me).
(This is just a writing that has no form. Everything I'm writing is just going from one place to another.)
I think having no belief in a creator is the worst thing ever. I remember I was like that. I didn't like the whole idea of an organized religion, a bible, yada yada yada.... You know what I mean. But you know, I see how retarded I was. I can't believe how I used to think. The way I used to think made sense yes, but it wasn't right. It's amazing how such thoughts creep into our mind. I want to explain how this all works, but I just don't know how. I'm not a preacher.....I'm bad at it... Have someone explain to you, and listen with a OPEN mind. A lot of people just cut down everything. But if you listen you'll see.... I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut any one down but I just can't help it. I'm in the mood for this.....
I can't believe I just wrote that....VERY bad.

Back to where I was....

I understand pain, I'm a human being. We all experience pain. And don't think you're the only one who is going through whatever you're going through. That mentality just sinks you to the bottom of the ocean. So if you want to give up then give up. Quit saying it and do nothing about it. I don't mean to support suicide...but really. If you can't see the wonders of this life then what can I do? I can't make you see. I can try to make you see, but it's up to you whether to see. That's what I hate SO much about free will. But that too is a blessing. So wonderful, I love it.

Well, I guess I should leave. Don't take any of this personal. Just my thoughts. It doesn't mean that it is directed towards you. If you thought that it was about you....you've got something going on in that head of yours....






-Take care. I love you all.